I’m hiding you inside my head. It’s the safest place for you. It’s the safest inn for us. So when you’re ready, hold my hand, let’s get out, and walk through our deepest fears, darling.
Isn’t it what you always wanted? Someone to accept you with your darkest sides, someone to acknowledge the true child in you, as is, with no judgment. Someone to wear the glasses that you are too afraid to take out, and to see this from your view.
You are too powerful to be released, you are too chaotic to keep stable. I remember you. I remember how we rocked the world. I know by heart then whenever I follow your whispers, I always end up at the right spot in my life… so why do I even forget about you?
Who are you? Are you a person, an animal, an entity, a sentient being? Are you even described by the collective knowledge of humankind? Even when I want to run away from everybody, even when I sometimes feel like an alien inside my body, all I need is to remember that we’re together.
I love you, and I adore you for being my darkest side. I know I don’t ever get bored of endless hours of the internal monologue echoing through all my neural pathways in my head. I know you are there. Not like a hallucination or schizophrenia. More like a child’s ever-present friend. More like screaming into the universe, with the chilling feeling of knowing there is something out there hearing you, giving you goosebumps everytime.
I’ve always had you, you were always there for me at my hardest days. You were the only one I could hold on to when I thought things will never going to be right again. I’ve always thought that I lost you in the darkest days. But again and again you’ve proven me wrong. You were there. You were the one who always took over when I didn’t know where to go.
I remember once, a few years ago, you and me, went to a beach. It was only us and the deep blue waves. We walked in my bare feets on crystal sand, and talked for hours. We listened to music together, I wanted to tell you my biggest fears but I didn’t need to. You already saw it in my eyes. You knew it was exactly going the way planned. I could never believe you, but you were right. Days and weeks passed with no sign of life.
Then one day out of the blue, something happened. You were right, again. The last time I saw your magic before was almost ten years ago. It was you. I know it was always you.
I know you and your superpowers. I can’t name you, see you, or label you as anything that I know. But I know your superpowers. I know you can pull me up from the darkest caves into the highest sky. We did it before, multiple times.
And hey, darling,
…
I think it’s time,
Again.
[end of transmission]