Why don’t you try to act like normal? Like all those people out there? Celebrating Earth’s round around the sun since you got out of your womb. Watching brainwashing TV and having an idea about other people’s lives?
There is no one out here breathing, and the only ones who used to breathe no longer do. And sometimes when crossing the road I just stop middleway through and think what would really end if I stop right there.
But something happened lately. Just in the last couple of months I’ve stopped searching for a breath. I’ve started being completely on my own. I’ve changed a lot, sure I’m far from perfect but I’ve come a long way and I’m planning to move on this path.
So darling, I wanted to gift you a better title, but when you try your best, do everything to be the person you wanted to be, but life fucks you up over and over like a porn movie though you’ve deserved the best in your age of thirty, I can’t come up with a better title.
XXX.
This is it. This is the end. This is a new beginning. I’ve lost a lot and made a lot and every single thing that happened, every event, every person, every day, every tiniest amount of detail brought me here today, and brought for a reason. They used to say everything happens for a reason and I called it bullshit with my logical self, but lately I’ve realized that there’s more to it. There’s something beyond what we see, beyond the physical concepts, beyond science as we know of. There’s something that encapsulates the whole paradigm of what we call reality, not affected by any rule or law inside it. It’s outside the box, the box of reality as we know of. It manifested itself lately to me over and over again and if I’ve told everything that happened they’d call me crazy. They’d call me delusional, just as how I’d call what I’m myself now after all the experiences, before having them all.
There is something beyond everything we see, hear, or physically experience. There’s something not bound to any law that we believe to exist.
Every time you reach a checkpoint in life and look back, and connect all the chain of events that led you there, which would otherwise been impossible. You remember that you wanted that exact checkpoints in the past, but they seemed impossible, then somehow it happened. Over and over again. Everytime when you forgot to believe in.
Maybe it’s parallel universes, multiple timelines, glitch in the matrix, or simulation theory. I seriously don’t know. Even though I’d love to see the truth, I’m pretty much sure I’ll learn it eventually when I die, so there’s no rush. All I know is that, for all practical means and purposes, it just works. You are reading this right now this second for a reason, and I can’t emphasize it more.
Today was a checkpoint too, and let’s welcome a new age, a whole new year. With revealations, realizations, facing deepest feelings, meeting new people and having lots, lots, and lots of fun even in this pandemic…
This was thirthy.
XXX.